PLEASE READ THESE :Y Tuesday, July 18, 2006Y
8:49 PM
... 结束不是我要的结果 却成了彼此唯一的出口 ...
Have been using the computer for almost whole day ... signing in msn ... seeing ur name popping right up from the bottom right screen ... seeing ur nick ... eventhough telling myself countless time not to let it bother me ... but i just cant do it! I'm the one who cant let go of everything ... What the hell is it wrong wid myself ... feeling sad while u are happily wid another ... you choose her instead of me ... i should be angry but yet i'm begaining to find all means of reasons to forgive and forget ! I'm realli FANG JIAN! You went away without a GOODBYE ... treated me like a fool ... making me fall for you and u just left me standing there foolishly waiting ...
Great everyone had been questioning me abt the happening disappearance of ur act ... i hab been thinking maybe u shi lian or maybe u had went for a holiday trip wid her and plenty more blablabla ... turn out that u are alright ... then i feel my heart lighten up... i'm always there standing ... hearing news of you from the others ... saying how happily you are at e moment ... maybe you are happier and better off widout mi ...
Recalling the first approache u made after a long lost of avoiding we made ... i hab been taken back ... maybe regreting about all the rejection i made to you ... cuz i'm afraid of being a spare-tyre ... you were in a shaking relationship then ... and soon u guys broke off ... and u came to me wid all those sweet stuff ... it's naturally tat made my thoughts of being a spare tyre ... and soon we started to meet out ... telling myself we are just friend ... and soon chemistry was bonded between us ... i'm nt sure about how u feel ... but i'm then attracted to you, eventhough i dun show it out ... i maybe saying nasty things and also opposite words
towards u ... but deep down i regret of all those silly action i made infront of u and all those rubbish tat came out of my mouth ...
Just when i'm approaching... u gave me a slap on my face(example) ... the most important lesson i hab ever learnt ... you got back wid the her ... and both of u seems happily in e pic ... leaving me wid a blank ... i CRIED till my tears dried up ... i find all means to forget ... but when e past came flooding back into my mind ... i cried ... if u hab no intention of getting back ... why must u approach, why must u treat me so good, why must there be all those sweet talks ... why , why, why???
I must always remember the lesson you taught me with ... and i must not depend on you any more ... and i cant accept it ... i'll never hold the hand that you once tightly hold her, listen to the sweet talks that u had said plenty to her, and eventhough i know i'll miss it ... i hab to forget ... cant let all this past dragged me down ... It's impossible of us becoming back as a FRIEND ... just take it tat i had lost a friend who i once wanted to TREASURE ... Never say SORRY as it will never replace the countless tears tat i had cried for... and the terrible heartbreak feeling ... I realli hate it when others mention ur name ...
Regret is what i'm feeling now ... i can choose to ignore you ... but i simply cant do it right now ... it take times ... and some told me time can heal ... but i dun tink tat way ... i tink a new relationship can help ... but it dun turn out right ... it takes a day to fall for a person but yet a year or more to forget about him ... i hate the feeling of being a spare-tyre and i'm sure others hate it too ! Regret of making those effort of doing those silly stuff for you ... thinking back what's e purpose of doing it ... when u just simply dun appreaciate ... tot u had changed for the better ... but yet u shown me another side of you... which made it worst ...
Habing the courage to write all this out ... even when i know that u maybe reading it ... but it's all the fact ... i thanks you for remembering my bday ... that's made u less heartless ... never forget old stuff when eventhought u had bought something better to replace it ... it made the old stuff sad ... and never do things that u will eventually regret one of these days ... as time wont turn back just for you ... you should seriously think a path before u start walking ... this goes to FRIENDSHIP! to those friend who were left puzzled ...
Writing all this is just like vomiting everythings out ... i'm more empty now ... Being single isnt a crime ... it's even better than habing a burden carrying ... hab to open my eyes bigger ... as at the moment now i'm onli seeing shit ... and it's washed away by all those tears ...
I DUN REGRET!
